In Moments of Solitude and Loneliness

Article | Rose Windale (http://www.healthzine.org/)
Photography | Xian Garvida

Hair and Make-up | Dino Lazaro

Model | Jaynny Lao

Location | Bangui Windmills Farm

Are being in solitude and being lonely the same? When you say “I need some time alone”, what is it that you feel? Is it because you are experiencing dejection and loneliness? Loneliness is actually a state of aching, inner emptiness. Yes, being lonely can be painful. You feel alone and that there seems to be just nobody with you.

Being alone is different from being lonely, although they may go together. When you say “I am alone”, it means you’re experiencing physical separation. It has often been said that you can be alone and yet not feel lonely. The sad thing is when in your aloneness, you feel loneliness, too. 

In your loneliness, you feel a spiritual, emotional and psychological separation from the rest. As you can imagine, this is more painful. Inward, you are empty and aching. You reach out for somebody, yet nobody is there. You cry out for company, but it’s beyond your control- you can’t have it.

Truly, such a circumstance can drive you out of your wits. We, as humans, are social beings. It is not only about the need to interact, but to connect. We need the warm and tender company of a friend or a partner, or family. Company which understands and accepts us the way we are.  

Where we need not fear rejection despite showing our true colors. In the company of somebody you trust, you can experience the joy of letting be, of being yourself. Indeed, when you are blessed with such, you can enjoy happiness in the real sense. Happiness can be as simple as that- having a true friend or a loving partner.

Or having a warm and loving home. With such, you may even forget the need for extravagant material possessions. It’s because what maters most is unseen. It’s in the heart- connection with others, and fulfillment. But sometimes, people just can’t help being lonely. Circumstances may have been unkind and inauspicious situations happen.

Loneliness can then start creeping in, and worse, gnawing us inside. And so we feel less as persons. We feel worthless and unloved and uncared for. When this happens, what should you do- is it the end of the world? It doesn’t have to be. When your dejection is so compelling, you need a change of attitude.

Shift your perspective and turn loneliness into solitude. In solitude, you get to appreciate the company of yourself- you become your own best friend. Being in solitude also means being alone, but there is a different essence. In your aloneness, you feel inner fulfillment. You get to process your thoughts and emotions.

Sure you may be in pain, but you can choose to see the lessons from that pain. In moments of solitude, you can nourish your spirit. Solitary as you are, you now have time and space for growth. In the darkness of loneliness, light up the candle of solitude. And see what is in your heart.

Gather your strength and your senses, and strive to be a better, stronger person. You see, loneliness is not the end of the world if you turn it into solitude. Remember, in your solitude, you are by yourself, yet you are not alone. There is always somebody who will always be with you.

Find out who it is - in your solitude.